I'm not a morning person. I don't know any morning people. I think those who insist on being cheerful and energetic before noon ought to be shot. Or tortured slowly and excruciatingly.

Yeah. I like that better.

On occasion, however, I find myself awake at God forsaken hours of the day - today for example - when the combination of work schedules and sharing a car force me out of bed and into psuedo-productivity as a means to fill hours and hours of relative boredom.

The worst part about these mornings (and there are several "worst parts"; in my opinion the only benefit to being awake at 9 AM is a McDonald's breakfast, and that's not saying much in the defense of mornings) is that there are other people driving.

This is a big problem. I don't know where you live, but here, venturing out in an automobile is equivalent to suicide, or at least a very strong death wish. The number of times I've almost been smeared across the tarmac has surpassed any possibility of accurate representation, and I live in a perpetual state of fear every time I get behind the wheel.

You think I'm exagerating. I can tell by the look on your face. I swear I'm not. At least once a week (sometimes more) there's an accident in front of my apartment complex, adding yet another reason why there are always cops hovering about to add to my inherent paranoia, and there are a million other intersections just like that one all over the city. Okay, maybe now I'm exagerating about the exact number of intersections, but everything else is true.

In reality, I'm just grumpy because I had to get up early and this computer doesn't have an accessible USB port. And sooner or later I'll have to risk my life among these crazy Florida drivers, but that's neither here nor there.